Clifford Allison : taking a brave step into acting
As a lawyer coming to retirement I have decided to try to break into acting. This is pretty tough and I may not make it, but who knows unless I try? It's a great truth that, in latter years one comes to regret what one has NOT done, rather than what one has!
Now aged 55 and a barrister, I have worked in Government for 22 years and wish they would enforce the anti-ageism legislation with a fraction of the zeal devoted to the smoking ban. It’s easy to get around the anti-ageism legislation. In recruiting, for example, you merely set the criteria as “post qualification experience”, rather than age. This device neatly filters out all but the very few mature applicants who have qualified late.
I believe I have been the subject of serial bullying in the workplace now for two years Whether or not my perception is correct is not really the point (though I’m sure it is); the big factor is that I feel it to be so. My health has naturally suffered so I am now off sick with depression (again). I’m using this time to try to develop a career in writing and acting, which I’ve always fancied. I’ve started writing an autobiography, been recruited by a murder mystery company, done some photoshoots and auditions and signed up with agencies. Agencies are however a mixed bag and I’ve yet to decide whether or not I’ve been conned.
This is tough and unusual but it seems worth a try whilst I have the cushion of sick pay and the psychiatrist (yes, it’s that bad) thoroughly approves. She (of course!) says that I am not mad because my depression is externally induced and entirely work related. I am not clinically depressed, which is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, rather than by external factors. I’m fine as long as I go nowhere near the office. In short, I love my work but not my job (these days), if that makes sense.
At the end of the day I am sure that retrospective regrets stem more from what one did NOT do when one had the chance, rather than what one did do. So I’ve decided it's time for me to try to be originally creative. One can certainly be creative as a lawyer but it always seems to be on the back of the suffering of others. So the spinners are out to try to find acting work. I hope it’s not too late for me; but there’s no time like the present to address those potential regrets! Please wish me luck as I embark on this hazardous course, which I should have done years ago!
Part II: April 2009 - life is not a dress rehearsal!
Throughout 2008 I continued to pursue my acting activities and expanded into modelling as well. I had done all this on medical advice on a non-profit basis it was tremendous therapy and the only form of such that I received from anywhere. I shudder to think what might have happened had I not resorted to this form of self-help in my depressed situation at that time.
Naturally, having joined online agencies and organisations, references to me and my activities appeared on the Internet, which were spotted by my employer - as was my original article for you. I never tried to hide what I was doing and perceived no objection from their side at that time. However matters came to a head with some national publicity last July and then the tone changed. I was hauled up on a gross misconduct charge but fortunately matters were resolved amicably by my leaving the organisation with a reference.
Since then I have dedicated myself full time to an acting and modelling career. I love it and, with each day that passes, I realise how my former situation had lowered my self-esteem and spirit and stifled my individuality. This must be one of the best things that has happened to me in the whole of my life. I now have an entry in THE actors' directory, Spotlight - see http://www.spotlight.com/interactive/cv/1014-8947-0547- have been accepted as a member of Equity and found a proper managing agent. So far as I can tell, this establishes me as an actor and the rest is up to my own skills and a fair slice of luck.
I have also continued with modelling, especially life modelling. I'd never earn a living at it but it complements my acting brilliantly. I am now accredited as a working life model with the Register of Artists' Models - http://www.modelreg.co.uk - where I am model number 1287.So, if anyone in our community ever needs a life model for drawing, sculpture or painting sessions in/around London I am at their disposal, along with a host of others!
I didn't reach this point without a wonderfully supportive wife, much tenacity, some fear, hard work, a strong nerve and determination to pull myself out of an ever deepening rut. I thought your readers might however be heartened by the fact that my story at least seems to be having a happy ending all round. Life is not a dress rehearsal!