Like
it or not, we judge most people on their
appearance. Long before you open your
mouth, someone meeting you for the first
time will have come to all sorts of conclusions
about the type of person they think you
are, based on what you look like.
It’s
true - you only get one chance to
make a first impression. You may be familiar
with the research that shows that at a
first meeting you are judged 55% on your
appearance, 38% on your tone of voice,
and only 7% by what you actually say.
So,
as an in my primer, making the
most of your appearance is absolutely
crucial. Whether male or female, you are
a walking advertisement for who you are
and the attitudes you embody, so if you
want to be seen as in your prime,
you have to look that way.
It’s
not shallow, or trivial. If you look like
an old fogey who doesn’t care about
their appearance, then that’s how
you will be perceived. Someone who looks
scruffy and unkempt is perceived as having
that attitude to everything in their life.
Of
course, that’s true at any age but
today in our society it’s easy for
others (younger people in particular)
to lump you in the category of ‘old’
if you don’t take positive steps
to look your best. Keeping up appearances
is truly an apt expression – by
looking stylish, elegant and meticulous,
you show that you are energetic, aware
and that you still value yourself and
the good opinion of others.
By
no means are we advocating that you try
and look 21 (or even 30!); there’s
nothing more pathetic than someone who
is obviously desperate to hang on to their
youth and who shows it by acting and addressing
totally inappropriately. It’s embarrassing
beyond belief.
What
we do recommend is that you commit to
making the effort to
making the best of every aspect of yourself.
And it is an effort. Like everything else
worth having, it requires constant attention
to detail and hard work. But the rewards
are enormous in terms of your own improved
self-esteem and the opportunities which
will open up to you.
Making
the most of yourself requires willpower,
effort and determination. We know that
these are attributes that most in
my primers have by the bucket load
– so you just have to decide how
best to use them to get the particular
results you want. To help you, here are
some suggested areas:
Stylish
and contemporary
One
of the biggest advantages of being in
my prime is that you’re no
longer obliged to be a slavish follower
of fashion. In fact, it’s far better
to wear what suits you and what you feel
comfortable in. But this doesn’t
mean entering a time warp in which
contemporary style by-passes you completely.
Colours,
shapes, styles, and designs all change
over the years – whether in clothes,
hairstyles, or home design. So although
you don’t need to reflect ‘the
latest’, you do need to keep up.
If your appearance and surroundings are
shouting ‘eighties’ or ‘nineties’,
then it’s obvious that you’re
a person that just doesn’t have
an interest in what’s going on today.
Perhaps not a problem for you (‘there’s
much more to me than that’
you say) but if you’re trying to
impress other people you won’t get
past first base (see the first impressions
point earlier).
Size
and shape
By
this time of your life we have all had
to come to terms with our natural shape.
If you’re stocky, short-waisted
or hairy, well, so be it. You can only
work with what you’ve got. But that
doesn’t stop you making the most
of yourself. Naturally stocky doesn’t
mean fat. Short-waisted means finding
clothes that suit your shape. Naturally
hairy (man or woman) means keeping it
under control.
Again,
not to do so is just a public admission
that you don’t really care about
yourself. And at this age, that goes hand
in hand – whether you like it or
not – with ‘old person
who no longer cares…’
Posture
Now’s
your final chance to stand up straight
and look like you mean business before
you slump into old age. Perhaps you’ve
always had poor posture, but now is the
time to take corrective action. By making
a positive effort to stand, walk and sit
better, you will appear more youthful,
more active and more alert. And it should
prevent you from back, bone and muscle
problems in later life.
Don’t
just look in the mirror, get someone else’s
opinion on this. Do they think you stand
and walk like a young person or an old
one? Have you (please no) started grunting
or groaning when you sit down or get up
out of chairs? Do you struggle to tie
up your shoe laces? Do you look for support
from banisters or rails instead of bounding
up stairs? If so, get a grip. Stop it.
You’re not old yet!
Clothes
Stylish,
contemporary flattering clothes are the
easiest way to demonstrate to the world
that you are youthful, elegant and in
your prime. There’s no need
to ditch comfort entirely, but you’re
not yet at the age where it should be
your only criterion.
If
you suspect that your wardrobe could do
with a revamp, start looking at what other
people of this age are wearing –
particularly celebrities and media personalities.
Look at magazines, TV programmes and films.
Go to the shops and just look at what
is on offer. Try things on – things
that you wouldn’t normally choose
in a million years.
Pay a visit to department stores which
offer personal shopper facilities and
see what they choose for you. Also, consider
investing in a consultation with a colour
analyst such as
www.houseofcolour.co.uk or
Colour Me Beautiful www.cmb.co.uk
Hair
Your
hair really is your crowning glory and
next to clothes, it is probably your biggest
indicator of the trouble you take over
your appearance. Here men and women differ
in that many men may be suffering from
hair loss and may not feel comfortable
about changing their hair colour.
Fine.
That’s no barrier to ensuring that
what hair you have is clean, dandruff
free, regularly trimmed and in good condition.
For
women, this applies equally with the additional
point that like clothes, your hairstyle
should be contemporary (not the same style
you wore twenty years ago), and that hair
colour should be appropriate to your image.
Remember, for men, grey is distinguished.
Generally, for women, it is simply ageing.
(Of course, if you do colour your hair,
keep it up. No roots or patches
of grey!)
Eyes
If
you’ve had good eyesight in the
past, now is the time you may find you
need glasses. Even if you’ve had
to wear glasses throughout your life,
you are probably now experiencing changes
to your vision.
Don’t
fight it. Get your eyes checked regularly
(for symptoms of disease as well as anything
else) and if you have to wear glasses,
go for contemporary frames and –
like the rest of your wardrobe –
change them regularly. ‘Old’
style glasses are an instant giveaway
that the wearer doesn’t care about
keeping up.
Consider
contact lenses - they’re more youthful
than glasses and new developments mean
that they’re easier and more comfortable
than they’ve ever been.
Teeth
Hopefully,
you’re not now echoing the Pam Ayres
poem – ‘I wish I’d
looked after my teeth’, but
now is definitely the time to do so. Brush,
floss, visit the dentist regularly. Hold
on to what you’ve got.
By
this time of life teeth may be discolouring,
so look into teeth whitening procedures
and also, if you can afford it and your
teeth have always been a bugbear, think
about cosmetic dentistry – it’s
never too late to have a sensational smile.
Nails
Men
or women – nails are again a huge
indicator of the care you take. They should
be clean, neatly trimmed and appropriate
in appearance. If you bite them –
STOP.
Cosmetic
surgery
This
is very much a personal choice, but shouldn’t
be ruled out if you have the money, have
done the research and are clear about
what it will actually do for you. Plastic
surgeons are not magicians. If you are
overweight, you would probably do better
to lose weight by traditional means. If
you drink or smoke you should probably
stop and see how that improves things
before you embark upon a facelift. Whatever
you do, bear in mind that things can go
wrong – you must be aware of the
risks.
General
grooming
There’s
nothing so attractive at any age as someone
who is obviously clean, smells good and
who wears clean, well maintained clothes.
Coordinate your appearance, nourish
your skin, disguise your bad points, emphasise
the good. Not only will you look much
better, you’ll be amazed at how
much better and more confident you feel,
too. Totally in your prime…
